My Body Confidence Journey: Day 3
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Why, hello day 3! I thought I’d share a little lesson I teach the young people I work with today, as it really helped me this morning.
We are often kinder to others than we are to ourselves. For example, most of us wouldn’t say, “you look awful in that,” to a friend who’s trying on a new dress in the changing rooms. Or even, “you can’t pull those off,” to someone who’s just bought a new pair of skinnies.
So why is it that we are quick to make comments like this (and if you’re me, much worse) to ourselves almost every time we see ourselves in the mirror? It has a lot to do with our ego, but also - and this is something I personally feel - society has shaped us into people that can’t say, “I look amazing,” without being open to negativity like, “that’s so arrogant!”
Do you know what I say to this? “That is absolute rubbish!”
LESSON 1: Be your own ‘Changing Room Buddy’. Be honest if you need to be, but ultimately, be kind. I challenge you to go through some of the items in your wardrobe that you perhaps aren’t comfortable in and pick at least 1 thing you like about that item whilst you have it on. I did exactly that this morning, so here’s an example: I recently bought a new pair of skinny jeans with holes in the knees. Most of my jeans are torn, but these are much bolder than anything else I wear on my legs. Now, in the past, I have been really quick to think quite negatively about my legs… Saying things like, “look at these tree trunks!” or, “why do my legs have to be bigger than Mt. Snowdon…” Now, you tell me – is that helping me? No, of course not! As you can probably tell, I generally cover my legs up because up until today, they aren’t something I want to draw attention to. So, I stood in the mirror for nearly 5 minutes, looking at myself from all angles, trying the compliment myself, my legs, the way the jeans fit, and the way they suit the rest of my body. I know this might sound odd, but I am currently feeling really good in these jeans!
I then decided to take it a step further (you’ll soon realise that I am an ‘all or nothing’ sort of girl). I printed off 2 worksheets (a simple outline of a person that I use with my students) and labelled the parts of my body I disliked, writing some of the negative things I have said about that body part. On the second sheet, I labelled those same parts with slightly more helpful thoughts. For example, “chunky legs” could change to something like, “I am so lucky to be able to walk,” or “I am able to play with my dog, kick a ball around with friends and wear heels because I have these strong legs!” Can you see the difference? I think that makes a great LESSON 2: Be honest with yourself and listen to your thoughts. Don’t be in denial. It’s not about being false, or saying something that isn’t true, it’s about choosing a more helpful thought – a simple CBT strategy which has really helped me to feel more motivated and body confident today. If you would like a copy if this worksheet, follow and tweet @HappiMeCoaching and I will send you a copy!
So far, I have practiced mindfulness and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) every day, I have been my own ‘Changing Room Buddy’ and have even caught myself feeling excited about the other tools I can use. Who would have thought it?!
That’s 2-3 good days in a row so far. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
Thank you for watching.
Be proud. Be you.
P.s I am not endorsed by anyone/ company I mention here or in the video, and HappiMe Coaching is my company.
- Links: HappiTapping (EFT)
- HappiMe App (– (Apple) (Android)
- Insight Timer - insighttimer.com “Love Your Body Better” Meditation by Louisa Tanner Munson
- Insta, Twitter & FB: @HappiMeCoaching @HappiMeApp
Abby, our amazing
co- founder & fantastic CYP coach, is starting a
#HappiMeBodyConfidenceProject! She is going to share her 3 month journey from zero to body confident, and all of the tools and strategies she uses to get there!
Header image from the fantastic curvy model and photographer initiator of the BodyLove campaign Silvana Denker
. Follow her here