My Body Confidence Journey: Day 6
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Today has been an emotional one. In fact, it started yesterday afternoon after receiving some difficult news... Of course, once I had found a way to temporarily deal with that, lots of other feelings came rushing in.
I went through a lot as a child, which I feel my body represents. I think I have been holding onto traumas from the past (without even realising it) and I believe I have carried a lot of those experiences as physical weight. Therefore, my body has prevented me from being vulnerable which has ultimately kept me safe and out of relationships that required me to let my guard down. Something that has always terrified me. Until now, I haven’t been ready for that. As a result of my childhood, I have struggled to trust people and my self-consciousness has literally allowed me to keep people I don’t trust at arm’s length.
Now, I feel ready to let my guard down. I feel strong enough to be able to handle another relationship, even if it didn’t work out. I just know I could cope. I don’t think I am feeling emotional about what happened to me as a child, as today, and in the past 3 years, I have used EFT to work through most of that. I think it’s because I now want to apologise to the people I have been with, even just my friends, for not giving 100% and being myself. My lack of trust, which lead to me ending relationships and moving on from friendships, was a safety mechanism. Even with my longer relationships, I take full responsibility for the breakdown - as quite often, I think I pushed people away. Not because I didn’t care - please trust me, I cared - but because I was terrified of commitment and really letting these people in. LESSON 2: Forgive yourself and accept your past. It isn’t just about other people.
Wow, that was a biggie. Phew!
I am making good progress, but (as you can probably see) I’m not feeling 100% this morning. I have repeated the meditation we found yesterday, which helped, and also did lots of cleaning, as I wanted to let go of some of the physical tension that has built up – but still don’t feel great.
I have decided to take it easy and rest for now. I am going to see some friends later if I feel up to it, but an afternoon with a book, the TV and a hot chocolate is definitely all I want right now.
Thank you for watching.
Be proud. Be you.
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Insight Timer - insighttimer.com “Love Your Body Better” Meditation by Louisa Tanner Munson
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Abby, our amazing
co- founder & fantastic CYP coach, is starting a
#HappiMeBodyConfidenceProject! She is going to share her 3 month journey from zero to body confident, and all of the tools and strategies she uses to get there!
Header image from the fantastic curvy model and photographer initiator of the BodyLove campaign Silvana Denker
. Follow her here