HappiMe
  • HappiMe
    • Blogs >
      • Body Confidence
      • Conversations with Your Coach
      • Children's Mental Health
    • HappiMe Apps
    • About Us
    • Testimonials
    • Apps & Books >
      • Whoops, there it goes again!
      • HappiMe Books
    • Helpful Resources >
      • Science Behind HappiTapping
      • Resources (Adult)
      • Resources (Parents)
      • Resources (Children)
      • Recommended Books for Children
      • Helpful Stuff
  • Services
    • For Young People >
      • Talk Therapy
      • Coaching & Mentoring
      • Confidence & Transition Coaching
      • EFT & HappiTapping Therapy
      • Prices
    • For Adults >
      • Mental Health Coaching
      • EFT for Adults
      • Personal Coaching
    • For Schools >
      • Schools In-House Training Programme
      • School Assemblies
      • HappiTapping for Schools
      • Children's Workshops
      • Workshops for Schools
      • Stress Busting Workshops for CYP
      • Talks
  • Contact Us

Taking Care of Your Mental Health 

​E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome)

8/12/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Jack Canfield, the author of The Success Principles, tells us that the only thing we are in control of in that equation is our response. The event (situation, conversation, etc.) is what it is. An event. What makes it painful or upsetting is our thinking about the event. If we want a different outcome, we need to choose a different response.

​E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome)
 
The event is the event. The situation is the situation. What he or she did, or said, is what it is. ​

We can’t change that. It is what it is, so stop worrying, moaning or fretting about things you can’t change. Learn to choose a more helpful response. One that doesn't involve you having a pity party, throwing your toys out of your pram or heading for the biscuit tin!...
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so”. –William Shakespeare

An extreme example of this can be found in one of the most inspirational books ever written, a book called Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, chronicles the experiences he endured as a concentration camp inmate in Auschwitz during the Second World War. His experiences led him to discover the importance of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most brutal ones, and thus, a reason to continue living.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedom – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

I passionately believe that you can learn to master your thinking and therefore your emotions, but you must first acknowledge that you are capable of doing so. Most of us have been taught that we are not in control of our emotions, so we say things like, “you made me so angry”, as opposed to “I choose to be angry because you said that”. It’s a minor but very important distinction. Understanding that no one can force you to feel a fear-based emotion is hugely empowering.

Yes, your partner, your family, your friends, your colleagues or your boss can all do all kinds of things that have the potential to make you angry, sad, fed-up or anxious, but the choice to feel these emotions is your responsibility.

I was talking to an old client recently, and he reminded me of a conversation we had many years ago regarding this. He said: “I can remember moaning to you about how a situation around a certain person was making me unhappy, and you said something profound that has really changed the way I look at life. You said, ‘so are you telling me that you are letting other people take control of your happiness?’ The more I thought about it, the more I understood what you were saying. Put like that it sounded pretty silly. Of course, I am not going to put my happiness in the hands of another person. I decided to stop handing the responsibility of my happiness over to others. It was life-changing.”

There is always a choice.
 
 Positive thinkers
•    Take complete responsibility for their lives.
•    Do not allow themselves to make excuses.
•    Don’t blame other people, events or situations.
•    Do not waste time blaming themselves either.
•    Understand that they don’t have to be perfect.
•    Accept that life goes a little off course at times.
•    Understand that they are in control of themselves. They are not victims.

Negative thinkers…
•    Blame everyone or everything else.
•    Are in denial.
•    Will procrastinate.
•    Make excuses.

Which are you? 
​
Need help being more positive? Want to learn about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? Give a shout here...
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    July 2017

    Categories

    All
    Assertiveness
    Books For Kids
    Bullying
    CBT
    Children
    Chimps!
    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
    Fears
    Gratitude
    Happiness
    Helpful Thouhts
    Managing Emotions
    Mental Health
    Mindfulness
    Mindfulness Apps
    Mindset
    Monsters!
    Positive Thinking
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Success
    Well Being
    Well-being
    Workshops

    RSS Feed

Home
​About Us
​Mental Health Blog 
Body Confidence Blog

Contact Us
Blog
Crowdfunding
Our Supporters
For Business
Emotional Resilience & Well-being
Mental Health Coaching 
For Adults 
Adult Happiness Coaching
EFT for Adults 
Mental Health Coaching 

For Children
Coaching
Confidence Coaching
Brighter Future Coaching
HappiTapping Therapy
HappiMe Products
HappiMe App (children)
HappiMe app (adults)
HappiMe Books  for Children

For Schools
Workshops
​School Assemblies
HappiTapping Programme
Happiness Workshops
Well-Being workshops
Talks

Resources
Mental Heath Resources for Adults
Mental Heath Resources for Children 
Science of HappiTapping (EFT)
Free EFT Happi Tapping videos (children)

Free HappiTapping Videos (adults)
EFT Tapping Practitioners
​Feelings and Emotions 
Free Mindfulness for Children
Mindful Bites for Adults
© COPYRIGHT 2017. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
HAPPIME COMMUNITY INTEREST COMPANY 10672447
Photo used under Creative Commons from symphony of love
  • HappiMe
    • Blogs >
      • Body Confidence
      • Conversations with Your Coach
      • Children's Mental Health
    • HappiMe Apps
    • About Us
    • Testimonials
    • Apps & Books >
      • Whoops, there it goes again!
      • HappiMe Books
    • Helpful Resources >
      • Science Behind HappiTapping
      • Resources (Adult)
      • Resources (Parents)
      • Resources (Children)
      • Recommended Books for Children
      • Helpful Stuff
  • Services
    • For Young People >
      • Talk Therapy
      • Coaching & Mentoring
      • Confidence & Transition Coaching
      • EFT & HappiTapping Therapy
      • Prices
    • For Adults >
      • Mental Health Coaching
      • EFT for Adults
      • Personal Coaching
    • For Schools >
      • Schools In-House Training Programme
      • School Assemblies
      • HappiTapping for Schools
      • Children's Workshops
      • Workshops for Schools
      • Stress Busting Workshops for CYP
      • Talks
  • Contact Us