a conversation about school refusal

Hey there!
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How are you feeling this week?
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What have been your biggest wins?

What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now?

This week, we wanted to approach the topic of school refusal.

​We know that school refusal can be a challenging experience for both children and parents. When a child is anxious or unwilling to attend school, at HappiMe, we believe it's essential to approach the situation with patience, understanding, and a supportive strategy as much as possible.


To help with this, we have put together five top tips to help you support your child if they are struggling to go to school:

1️⃣ Understand the Underlying Cause

School refusal often stems from anxiety, bullying, learning difficulties, or even social challenges. Spend time talking to your child to understand what might be driving their reluctance. Listen without judgement, and let them know that their feelings are valid. Knowing the cause can help you and the school develop a plan to address it.

2️⃣ Communicate with the School

Work closely with your child’s teachers and school staff to create a supportive approach. The school may offer resources like pastoral support, counselling, or adjustments to help your child feel more comfortable. Keeping open communication with the school ensures that you’re both on the same page in supporting your child's needs.

3️⃣ Establish or Maintain a Routine

Maintaining a consistent morning routine can help ease some of the stress associated with going to school. Make mornings calm and predictable by setting out clothes and packing school bags the night before. A regular routine can give your child a sense of control and security, making it easier to face the day. Even if they do not attend, if you can, set them some work to do somewhere other than their bedroom. The school may provide resources, or free learning resources can be found online.

4️⃣ Reinforce Positivity and Praise

Celebrate small victories! Whether it’s just getting ready for school or managing to attend for part of the day, positive reinforcement goes a long way. Praise your child’s efforts rather than the outcome, helping them feel encouraged and motivated without added pressure.

5️⃣ Seek Professional Support if Needed

If school refusal continues or your child’s anxiety is becoming overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional support - for both you and your child. Counsellors, therapists, or educational psychologists can offer strategies to help your child manage their fears and build resilience. Early intervention can make a significant difference in helping them return to school with confidence. And for you, having someone to offload to is key for your own wellbeing and for supporting your child effectively.

Supporting a child who is refusing to attend school can be a complex process, but with patience, empathy, and the right approach, you can help them overcome their challenges and find their way back to a positive school experience. Remember to take care of yourself as much as you can, too! 💞