March 23rd, 2021

A Conversation About Parent/Carer Mental Health

Hi, lovelies!

How are you feeling this week?

What have been your biggest wins? 

What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now?

If you can, spend some time journalling your answers to the questions above. 

Let's have a chat about parent/carer mental health...

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe
 
When speaking with a parent recently, they shared their love of this quote. In exploring how they were feeling, it became clear why this message was so important to them.
 
The truth is, as parents, it can often feel like you are always getting it wrong. Life is hard, but throw children, school, work, finances and everything else into the mix, and it can feel like a daily hike up a snowy mountain – with constant avalanches and 100mph winds.
 
Would you like to know my message to all parents/carers out there?
 
REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN ONLY DO YOUR BEST.
 
You will get it wrong, you will make mistakes and things will be tough… But you are human. No one can get it right all of the time.

I thought it might also be helpful to share some of my top tips for managing our mental health better as a parent or carer too:
 

1. Accept help! Whether from your family, loved-ones or school staff, accept support even if you think you don’t need it. Allow the kids to spend the day with family, encourage them to join clubs and extra-curriculars. These experiences are good for them, but they can also be good for you too.
2. When you get free time, use it for you. There are only so many hours in a day, and it can be easy to put your own needs at the bottom of the never ending “to do” list. If you find yourself with a free half an hour, make the most of it! Read a book, call a friend, have a bath… Find time to look after you.
3. Go easy on yourself. Nobody, and we mean nobody, gets it right all of the time. Life is a journey of trial and error, and providing you’re doing your best and accepting help when it’s needed, you’re doing a better job than you think you are.
4. Talk to your children about how you’re feeling. It may not be appropriate to pour your heart out to your 5-year-old, but when things are tough, it’s ok to explain this to your children in a way they can understand. Being authentic with them about life’s struggles will allow them to build on their own resilience, preparing them to the realities of life in adulthood.

Here are some other useful resources worth looking at: 

•  MentalHealth.Org 
•  Mind
•  NHS Resources
•  NSPCC Resources

I just wanted to reiterate that if you are struggling, you really aren’t alone. Parent/carer burnout and overwhelm are very real experiences. If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone who understands, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. 

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Take care,

Abby and the HappiMe Team x