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How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? At HappiMe, I speak to parents and carers every day who share that they’re worried they aren’t raising their children “right”. It’s something I hear more than any other concern! Do you ever feel like this? This week, I will be sharing advice on tips to help parents feel more confident about how to raise their children well. Tip 1: Go easy on yourself! If your child is loved, nourished (I won’t tell you off for the odd McDonald’s!), clothed, clean, accessing education regularly, being taught how to be empathic and kind, with their other basic needs met… You are doing a good job. HappiMe offers a free resource pack with tools for helping to teach your children about managing emotions and improving confidence, so if you’d like us to send this to you, contact us. I also discovered this article recently that I think parents may find useful. It’s from the reputable ‘Very Well Family’ and shares tips and advice on how to raise a “good child”. Read the article here. Tip 2: Listen! In a 70-year study, where scientists followed over 14,000 children born after WW2, one of the key takeaways was how important listening to your children can be. A child who feels listened to will communicate better in adolescence and adulthood. Communicative skills can help us in every aspect of life, so offering your child good, empathetic listening skills can make all of the difference. Check out a summary of the study here. Tip 3: Be willing to learn! Parenting isn't easy, so be open to learning about how you can be better. If you're reading this blog, you're half way there! Why not check out Helen Pearson’s TED Talk on the lessons from the longest study on human development? For the past 70 years, scientists in Britain have been studying thousands of children through their lives to find out why some end up happy and healthy while others struggle. It's the longest-running study of human development in the world, and it's produced some of the best-studied people on the planet while changing the way we live, learn and parent. Reviewing this remarkable research, science journalist Helen Pearson shares some important findings and simple truths about life and good parenting. Check it out here. And... That's it from me for another week! If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x
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How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? If you can, spend some time journalling your answers to the questions above. Let's have a chat about handling stress... “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James The truth is, stress can be a real nuisance… But, what if I said it can be great too? Stress can encourage us to slow down, motivate us to be more vulnerable with those around us by sharing how we feel, whilst also inspiring loved-ones to share more openly about how they feel too… 2020 was arguably one of the most stressful times in many of our lives. I certainly can’t think of a time during the last 25 years where the nation was in a constant state of worry for this long… Children and adults alike! That being said, stress is something we all deal with, day in, day out – and it looks different for all of us. Some of us handle stress by burying ourselves in a task, others cope with it by offloading to friends and family, and many don’t deal with it at all… The truth is, many of us know how stress feels but don’t have the knowledge, tools or resources to be able to handle it effectively and constructively. That’s why I'd like to share some great tips and advice for those of you wishing to manage your stress better. 1. Get familiar with your emotions… Can you think of 10 terms or phrases that may be used interchangeably with the word “stress”… Perhaps “overwhelm” could be one? 2. Share honestly! The next time you’re feeling stressed, reflect on why (maybe in a journal) then call a friend and tell them how you’re feeling… You might be surprised out how raw and authentic this conversation could be. Give them a go and let me know how you get on. Before you go, here’s a resource to those who wish to find out more about National Stress Awareness Month. If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x  Hi, lovelies!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? If you can, spend some time journaling your answers to the questions above. Let's have a chat about parent/carer mental health... “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe When speaking with a parent recently, they shared their love of this quote. In exploring how they were feeling, it became clear why this message was so important to them. The truth is, as parents, it can often feel like you are always getting it wrong. Life is hard, but throw children, school, work, finances, and everything else into the mix, and it can feel like a daily hike up a snowy mountain – with constant avalanches and 100mph winds. Would you like to know my message to all parents/carers out there? REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN ONLY DO YOUR BEST. You will get it wrong, you will make mistakes and things will be tough… But you are human. No one can get it right all of the time. I thought it might also be helpful to share some of my top tips for managing our mental health better as a parent or carer too: Accept help! Whether from your family, loved ones, or school staff, accept support even if you think you don’t need it. Allow the kids to spend the day with family, and encourage them to join clubs and extra-curriculars. These experiences are good for them, but they can also be good for you too. When you get free time, use it for yourself. There are only so many hours in a day, and it can be easy to put your own needs at the bottom of the never-ending “to do” list. If you find yourself with a free half an hour, make the most of it! Read a book, call a friend, have a bath… Find time to look after yourself. Go easy on yourself. Nobody, and we mean nobody, gets it right all of the time. Life is a journey of trial and error, and providing you’re doing your best and accepting help when it’s needed, you’re doing a better job than you think you are. Talk to your children about how you’re feeling. It may not be appropriate to pour your heart out to your 5-year-old, but when things are tough, it’s ok to explain this to your children in a way they can understand. Being authentic with them about life’s struggles will allow them to build on their own resilience, preparing them for the realities of life in adulthood. Here are some other useful resources worth looking at:
I just wanted to reiterate that if you are struggling, you really aren’t alone. Parent/carer burnout and overwhelm are very real experiences. If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice, and a chance to talk to someone who understands, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x  Good morning!
How are you this week? What have been your biggest wins? Think of 3, if you can... What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Let's have a chat about why children tell lies (or "fibs"). As a children’s therapist and coach, parents/carers frequently tell me that their child has been “fibbing” or telling lies, and they don’t know why, or what to do about it. This is a tough one for many families, so I wanted to share some resources and tips for talking to your children about lying. The first thing to remember is that most children learn how to tell “white lies” or “fibs” as young as 2/3 years old – so, you aren’t doing anything wrong! They might learn how to “bend the truth” in order to escape being told off, or learn to manipulate fellow pre-school friends in order to play with the toy they wish to play with. The truth is, the way you deal with the “fib” is far more important than how they learned to do it. In society, most of adults tell ‘innocent’ lies to those around them too. For example, have you ever eaten a meal at a restaurant that wasn’t up to scratch, but lied to waiting staff when they ask how your meal was? How about telling your boss you have almost finished a project that is due at 5pm, when you have barely started it? Sometimes, it may feel like lying is necessary, which children may pick up on… In this Psychology Today article, you will find some great conversation topics for children who have started to tell lies, or for those whose lies have grown into something bigger. I also thought it might be helpful to explore some of the reasons why children may tell lies or “fibs” in the first place. In my experience, these are some key reasons: - Low confidence – Children may exaggerate their skills or experience in something to “fit in” or to feel better about themselves. This is, of course, about the opinions of those around them more than whether what they’re saying is true or not. - Low self-worth – Children may tell friends they have more toys, electronics or friends than what they actually have. This is sometimes because they don’t feel “worthy” as they are. - Low self-esteem – Children sometimes lie to others in order to make people like or respect them to compensate for not liking themselves. This could be by saying they like to dance, when they don’t, or that they love a TV show that they actually find really boring. As you can probably see, these 3 reasons can intertwine. If you’d like some useful tips for building confidence, self-esteem and self-worth in your children, please feel free to contact me here. I hope this blog helped you in some way. If you liked this post... Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x  Hi-de-hi!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? This week, I wanted to share some of HappiMe's top confidence boosting strategies! According to Sky Academy and YouGov, over 33% of young people say they have a confidence issue. As we’re sure you will agree, this is 33% too many! If your child feels less confident than they would like to feel, check out these HappiMe top tips... Top Tip 1: Self-Reflection & Self-Congratulation At the end of each day, either independently or with the help of a parent or older sibling, ask your child to reflect upon their day, thinking about any lessons they learned, along with anything they achieved… Perhaps they managed to listen well to the teacher, produce good work or cleaned their packed-lunch bag without being reminded! Regular self-reflection, along with giving yourself a pat on the back, can help to promote a positive, self-confident mindset. Top Tip 2: Mindfulness What does mindfulness have to do with confidence? Well, let us explain… Mindfulness is more than quietening your mind and letting go of your thoughts. Mindfulness allows a person to think more clearly throughout the day, too. So, if you are used to having lots of negative thoughts, like “I am not confident!” or “I can’t do it!”, practicing daily mindfulness can help you to catch those unhelpful thoughts, and turn them into more positive ones. Top Tip 3: Practice the Power Pose Have you ever noticed how our favourite superheroes or the most powerful characters in the TV shows we watch often stand with their hands on their hips and their heads held high? That’s the Power Pose! Studies suggest that standing in this pose, in the mirror, whilst reciting a mantra or a helpful thought can help alter your brain chemistry, helping you to feel happier and more confident! Give it a go for a month and let us know what you think… You can even put on your favourite, up-beat tune! I really hope these tips help. Oh, and before you go, here are some other useful links! Study: YouGov and Sky Academy Resource: ChildMind’s ‘12 Top Tips for Raising Confident Kids’ Book: ‘The Whole Brain Child’ by Dr Tina Payne Bryson and Dr Daniel J. Siegel If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. If you liked this post... Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x  Hi there!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? This week, I wanted to have a little chat with you about how to build resilience in your children. So, what is resilience? According to Public Health England: "Resilience is described as the capacity to ‘bounce back’ from adverse experiences, and succeed despite adversity.” Those adverse experiences could be anything from falling out with friends to the loss of a family member (and anywhere in between). Some children are “born resilient”, in that they are able to bounce back from adversity quickly and naturally, whilst others find it much harder. This can even vary from sibling to sibling. Here are some of my top tips for raising resilient kids! Tip 1: Start a Daily Positivity Practice… At the end of each day, as your child to reflect on anything they did well, or “bounced back” from. Aim for 2-3 things, if they can. This helps to strengthen the neuropathways relating to resilience and self-love in their brains. The more they practice this, the strong the pathway, and the more resilient they will become. Tip 2: The Positivity Jar… At the start of each week, give your child 10 coins. Every time you notice them speak positively about themselves, ask them to add a coin to their Positivity Jar. Every time you notice them speak negatively about themselves, ask them to give you a coin and chat to them about why the comment wasn’t helpful. At the end of the week, count up the coins and see if they can beat the number of coins in the jar the following week. If they get all 10 coins in the jar, you could offer them a prize! Give them a go and let me know what you think. Check out ParentKind's useful article on resilience here. Oh, and here's a great children's book. And... That's it from me for another week! If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. If you like this post... Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x  Hi, lovelies!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? If you can, spend some time journalling your answers to the questions above. “Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.” – Chinese Proverb⠀ In this month's post, I'd love for you to join me on an adventure, exploring the DiSC Personality Model for kids! But wait, what is DiSC?⠀ ⠀⠀ DiSC is the best-selling, non-judgmental personality and behavioural assessment used by more than one million people every year to improve teamwork, communication, and productivity… And at HappiMe, we share it with our young people to help them with very similar challenges! ⠀ Why is DiSC just a powerful for children to learn? ⠀ …Because DiSC gives them the power of understanding themselves and others, helping them to communicate more confidently, build rapport and improve their emotional intelligence skills.⠀ ⠀ So, what does it stand for? ⠀ D – Dominant or Driver – Leader, blunt, driven, loud, work and goal-focused. I – Influencer – Friendly, loud, outgoing, talker rather than listener, people-focused. S – Steady – Quiet, supportive, listener rather than talker, loyal, people-focused. C – Controlled or Conscientious – Detail-oriented, blunt, quiet, perfectionist, work and goal-focused. ⠀ We are often a combination of all 4 profiles, but generally there are 1 or 2 primary/secondary profiles that are obviously much stronger. If someone is a clear D and I combination, but their D traits are more prominent, we might call them a “high D/I profile”…⠀ What are HappiMe’s DiSC Personality Profile animals?⠀ ⠀ Here are HappiMe’s cheeky DiSC animals, great for teaching under-8s about this fab method…⠀ ⠀ D or 🦁 - The passionate lion is the leader. Someone who is generally goal-focused.⠀ ⠀ I or 🦓 - The friendly zebra is the motivator. Someone who is generally people-focused.⠀ ⠀ S or 🐼 – The steady panda is the loyal listener. Someone who is also people-focused.⠀ ⠀ C or 🦉 – The wise owl is master of detail. Someone who is generally work-focused. ⠀ As I said earlier, we are often a combination of all 4 profiles, but generally, there are 1 or 2 profiles that are obviously much stronger. With the HappiMe animal model, that would simply change to a focus on the primary animal profile. Have you found this helpful? Do you have any questions? If you've enjoyed this post, please... Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x  Hi, lovelies!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? If you can, spend some time journalling your answers to the questions above. Let's have a chat about how to set boundaries with your children. Do you find it difficult to set boundaries with your children? ⠀ We have decided to break this down into age groups. First up, let's think about how to set limits with your under 6s.⠀ ⠀ Children learn from you, so the less congruent you are and the more inconsistent your requests, the more their behaviour will seem “all over the place”. ⠀ ⠀ Here are some top tips to try… ⠀ 1. Be clear with your instructions. This may seem like an obvious one, but actually, when you’re caught up doing 101 things (as parents often are), it is easy to be unclear! Keep any instructions short (5-7 words) and be direct. ⠀ 2. Be calm and consistent. When your child does something that isn’t acceptable, try to be calm and consistent with your response to this behaviour. It can be exhausting, but consistency really is key. ⠀ 3. Listen… With this one, we mean to listen actively. Don’t try to “fix it”, try to be present and offer empathy when your child comes to you with an issue. Give your child time each day just to talk, and if you can, make sure you are fully present in the conversation. ⠀ ⠀⠀ Next, setting limits with under 11s. We acknowledge that this isn’t easy, especially since they’re that little bit older and wiser. When it comes to boundaries with primary school aged children, the best advice we can offer is to be empathetic with all of your parenting approaches…⠀ ⠀ Whether you are dealing with bedtime, behaviour, school issues or even eating challenges, the empathic way is often the most successful. ⠀ ⠀ What do we mean by offering empathy? ⠀ 1. Ask: With any of the above issues, ask your child how they are feeling and what the problem is. ⠀ 2. Listen: When your child responds, or offers any information as to what is going on for them, be present and listen to what they’re saying. ⠀ 3. Respond: When responding to your child, try to paraphrase some of what they have shared so they can see you have actively listened to what they have said. ⠀ 4. Act collaboratively and with care: If it’s appropriate, work with your child to find a solution. Finally, teenagers!⠀ ⠀ Before we share our tips for this group of young people, we felt it important to preface this a little extra advice. Being a teenager, especially in 2022, is not easy. The uncertainty of the future can be a challenge at the best of times.... ⠀ Here are our top tips for setting realistic limits with your teenage children!⠀ ⠀ 1. Consistency is key! If you are setting a bedtime or curfew, be consistent. If 10pm is bedtime, then 10pm is bedtime. However, if you feel that it’s appropriate to change this, perhaps for a special occasion, be very CLEAR in that this is a one-off and the reasons why. ⠀ 2. Be there… Ensure your child feels safe by being there when they make a mistake. We know it can be frustrating when your child isn’t following instructions or isn’t accepting the limits you have set, but the truth is, arguing or battling isn’t going to make it better either! Listen to what happened and be calm in your response. There’s always a reason behind a young person’s behaviour. ⠀ You may have noticed that the advice we have offered for each age group is pretty similar… That’s because at HappiMe we believe consistency, empathy and listening skills are the keys to having a great relationship with your kids. ⠀ Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x |
AuthorEach week, HappiMe's Lead Children's Coach, Abby, shares her advice on a new topic.
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