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How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? Today, I am going to be answering more of our most commonly asked client questions. Let’s start with the most frequently asked, “how can I be more confident?” Of course, there are many ways to answer this question. However, if this is asked by a young person, we would break our response down to what it is, why some people seem to have more of it than others and what they can do to be more confident… So, what can you do if you want to be more confident? Firstly, learn to understand who you are… Then, accept that version of yourself. Here’s a quick tip on how to do this! You could journal daily, reflecting on the things you have done well and the things you wish to improve. You can then finish this daily reflection task with a repeated mantra, such as, “I accept myself as I am”. Practice this for 30-days and see how you feel! Next, I wanted to answer a question on one of the biggest reasons why clients come to HappiMe... How can I feel less anxious? If I was discussing this with a young person, I would break this down into a few stages…
Would you like to know one of those helpful strategies? Mindfulness! Working to take back control of your mind starts with being mindful of your current thoughts and feelings, and not being frightened of them. Mindfulness is a great way to work on this. When you’re next brushing your teeth, zone in on your senses. How does it feel? How does the toothpaste taste? What actions are you doing? When you’re next in the shower, do the same thing. How does the water feel? Is your sponge soft or rough? Do you like or dislike the smell of your soap? The more you practice mindfulness throughout the day, the better you’ll be able to manage any anxious spells. Lastly, and this is also a big one… How are therapy and coaching so different? Well, let’s start with coaching… HappiMe’s coaching sessions are goals-driven, short-term, activity-based and super informative. Clients can expect fun sessions where they will set goals, learn new strategies to help them get to where they want to go, and open discussions about what might get in their way. They will also have things to do between sessions! What about therapy? HappiMe’s therapy sessions are client-driven and longer-term. Clients can expect to feel in control of these sessions, where they can share as much or as little as they wish, focusing on whatever issues they want to explore. A strategy may be offered at the end of the session, but only when this is appropriate. And... That's it from me for another week! If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x
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How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? Today, I am going to share my top recommended resources… Including some great apps and podcasts! Firstly, have you ever used Scribd? Do you love to read, or are you a parent who finds audiobooks more accessible? Either way, Scribd is exactly what you need. Featuring lots of great parenting books, useful articles, interesting audiobooks and “snapshots” of books we just don’t have time to get through, for just under £10 each month, it’s a no-brainer… Check it out here. My second recommendation is just as useful! Have you ever practiced meditation? I truly believe it can be really useful tool for children and adults. Would you like an app that can help you get started? Insight Timer is a one-stop-shop for all things meditation-related… And its’ free version has everything you’ll need! From a 7-day beginners course, to children’s sleeping meditations, it a brilliant app that I recommend to clients often. Take a look here. Next is a recommendation for women and girls everywhere! Clue is so much more than just a period tracking app... Hormones play a huge part in how we feel, our ability to learn and grow, our energy… And so much more! Tracking your whole cycle regularly can help you to plan projects based on when you’re generally most productive, monitor your mood and know when your period is about to begin… Find out more here. To end this post, I wanted to share one of my favourite podcasts! The Savvy Psychologist’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health is ace for those who want to learn more about how to take care of their mental health. Meet life’s challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment. Savvy Psychologist uses the best of psychology to help you be happier, healthier, and most importantly, yourself. Oh, and it’s really easy to digest and understand! Here's the link. And... That's it from me for another week! If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x It was sunny for 5-minutes... Yay!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? At HappiMe, I speak to parents and carers every day who share that they’re worried they aren’t raising their children “right”. It’s something I hear more than any other concern! Do you ever feel like this? This week, I will be sharing advice on tips to help parents feel more confident about how to raise their children well. Tip 1: Go easy on yourself! If your child is loved, nourished (I won’t tell you off for the odd McDonald’s!), clothed, clean, accessing education regularly, being taught how to be empathic and kind, with their other basic needs met… You are doing a good job. HappiMe offers a free resource pack with tools for helping to teach your children about managing emotions and improving confidence, so if you’d like us to send this to you, contact us. I also discovered this article recently that I think parents may find useful. It’s from the reputable ‘Very Well Family’ and shares tips and advice on how to raise a “good child”. Read the article here. Tip 2: Listen! In a 70-year study, where scientists followed over 14,000 children born after WW2, one of the key takeaways was how important listening to your children can be. A child who feels listened to will communicate better in adolescence and adulthood. Communicative skills can help us in every aspect of life, so offering your child good, empathetic listening skills can make all of the difference. Check out a summary of the study here. Tip 3: Be willing to learn! Parenting isn't easy, so be open to learning about how you can be better. If you're reading this blog, you're half way there! Why not check out Helen Pearson’s TED Talk on the lessons from the longest study on human development? For the past 70 years, scientists in Britain have been studying thousands of children through their lives to find out why some end up happy and healthy while others struggle. It's the longest-running study of human development in the world, and it's produced some of the best-studied people on the planet while changing the way we live, learn and parent. Reviewing this remarkable research, science journalist Helen Pearson shares some important findings and simple truths about life and good parenting. Check it out here. And... That's it from me for another week! If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x Good afternoon!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? If you can, spend some time journalling your answers to the questions above. Let's have a chat about handling stress... “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James The truth is, stress can be a real nuisance… But, what if I said it can be great too? Stress can encourage us to slow down, motivate us to be more vulnerable with those around us by sharing how we feel, whilst also inspiring loved-ones to share more openly about how they feel too… 2020 was arguably one of the most stressful times in many of our lives. I certainly can’t think of a time during the last 25 years where the nation was in a constant state of worry for this long… Children and adults alike! That being said, stress is something we all deal with, day in, day out – and it looks different for all of us. Some of us handle stress by burying ourselves in a task, others cope with it by offloading to friends and family, and many don’t deal with it at all… The truth is, many of us know how stress feels but don’t have the knowledge, tools or resources to be able to handle it effectively and constructively. That’s why I'd like to share some great tips and advice for those of you wishing to manage your stress better. 1. Get familiar with your emotions… Can you think of 10 terms or phrases that may be used interchangeably with the word “stress”… Perhaps “overwhelm” could be one? 2. Share honestly! The next time you’re feeling stressed, reflect on why (maybe in a journal) then call a friend and tell them how you’re feeling… You might be surprised out how raw and authentic this conversation could be. Give them a go and let me know how you get on. Before you go, here’s a resource to those who wish to find out more about National Stress Awareness Month. If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x Hi, lovelies!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? If you can, spend some time journaling your answers to the questions above. Let's have a chat about parent/carer mental health... “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe When speaking with a parent recently, they shared their love of this quote. In exploring how they were feeling, it became clear why this message was so important to them. The truth is, as parents, it can often feel like you are always getting it wrong. Life is hard, but throw children, school, work, finances, and everything else into the mix, and it can feel like a daily hike up a snowy mountain – with constant avalanches and 100mph winds. Would you like to know my message to all parents/carers out there? REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN ONLY DO YOUR BEST. You will get it wrong, you will make mistakes and things will be tough… But you are human. No one can get it right all of the time. I thought it might also be helpful to share some of my top tips for managing our mental health better as a parent or carer too: Accept help! Whether from your family, loved ones, or school staff, accept support even if you think you don’t need it. Allow the kids to spend the day with family, and encourage them to join clubs and extra-curriculars. These experiences are good for them, but they can also be good for you too. When you get free time, use it for yourself. There are only so many hours in a day, and it can be easy to put your own needs at the bottom of the never-ending “to do” list. If you find yourself with a free half an hour, make the most of it! Read a book, call a friend, have a bath… Find time to look after yourself. Go easy on yourself. Nobody, and we mean nobody, gets it right all of the time. Life is a journey of trial and error, and providing you’re doing your best and accepting help when it’s needed, you’re doing a better job than you think you are. Talk to your children about how you’re feeling. It may not be appropriate to pour your heart out to your 5-year-old, but when things are tough, it’s ok to explain this to your children in a way they can understand. Being authentic with them about life’s struggles will allow them to build on their own resilience, preparing them for the realities of life in adulthood. Here are some other useful resources worth looking at:
I just wanted to reiterate that if you are struggling, you really aren’t alone. Parent/carer burnout and overwhelm are very real experiences. If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice, and a chance to talk to someone who understands, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. I aim to post every Tuesday, but don't worry - if you're following us on our socials, you will get a reminder there. Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x Good morning!
How are you this week? What have been your biggest wins? Think of 3, if you can... What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Let's have a chat about why children tell lies (or "fibs"). As a children’s therapist and coach, parents/carers frequently tell me that their child has been “fibbing” or telling lies, and they don’t know why, or what to do about it. This is a tough one for many families, so I wanted to share some resources and tips for talking to your children about lying. The first thing to remember is that most children learn how to tell “white lies” or “fibs” as young as 2/3 years old – so, you aren’t doing anything wrong! They might learn how to “bend the truth” in order to escape being told off, or learn to manipulate fellow pre-school friends in order to play with the toy they wish to play with. The truth is, the way you deal with the “fib” is far more important than how they learned to do it. In society, most of adults tell ‘innocent’ lies to those around them too. For example, have you ever eaten a meal at a restaurant that wasn’t up to scratch, but lied to waiting staff when they ask how your meal was? How about telling your boss you have almost finished a project that is due at 5pm, when you have barely started it? Sometimes, it may feel like lying is necessary, which children may pick up on… In this Psychology Today article, you will find some great conversation topics for children who have started to tell lies, or for those whose lies have grown into something bigger. I also thought it might be helpful to explore some of the reasons why children may tell lies or “fibs” in the first place. In my experience, these are some key reasons: - Low confidence – Children may exaggerate their skills or experience in something to “fit in” or to feel better about themselves. This is, of course, about the opinions of those around them more than whether what they’re saying is true or not. - Low self-worth – Children may tell friends they have more toys, electronics or friends than what they actually have. This is sometimes because they don’t feel “worthy” as they are. - Low self-esteem – Children sometimes lie to others in order to make people like or respect them to compensate for not liking themselves. This could be by saying they like to dance, when they don’t, or that they love a TV show that they actually find really boring. As you can probably see, these 3 reasons can intertwine. If you’d like some useful tips for building confidence, self-esteem and self-worth in your children, please feel free to contact me here. I hope this blog helped you in some way. If you liked this post... Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x Hi-de-hi!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? This week, I wanted to share some of HappiMe's top confidence boosting strategies! According to Sky Academy and YouGov, over 33% of young people say they have a confidence issue. As we’re sure you will agree, this is 33% too many! If your child feels less confident than they would like to feel, check out these HappiMe top tips... Top Tip 1: Self-Reflection & Self-Congratulation At the end of each day, either independently or with the help of a parent or older sibling, ask your child to reflect upon their day, thinking about any lessons they learned, along with anything they achieved… Perhaps they managed to listen well to the teacher, produce good work or cleaned their packed-lunch bag without being reminded! Regular self-reflection, along with giving yourself a pat on the back, can help to promote a positive, self-confident mindset. Top Tip 2: Mindfulness What does mindfulness have to do with confidence? Well, let us explain… Mindfulness is more than quietening your mind and letting go of your thoughts. Mindfulness allows a person to think more clearly throughout the day, too. So, if you are used to having lots of negative thoughts, like “I am not confident!” or “I can’t do it!”, practicing daily mindfulness can help you to catch those unhelpful thoughts, and turn them into more positive ones. Top Tip 3: Practice the Power Pose Have you ever noticed how our favourite superheroes or the most powerful characters in the TV shows we watch often stand with their hands on their hips and their heads held high? That’s the Power Pose! Studies suggest that standing in this pose, in the mirror, whilst reciting a mantra or a helpful thought can help alter your brain chemistry, helping you to feel happier and more confident! Give it a go for a month and let us know what you think… You can even put on your favourite, up-beat tune! I really hope these tips help. Oh, and before you go, here are some other useful links! Study: YouGov and Sky Academy Resource: ChildMind’s ‘12 Top Tips for Raising Confident Kids’ Book: ‘The Whole Brain Child’ by Dr Tina Payne Bryson and Dr Daniel J. Siegel If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. If you liked this post... Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x Hi there!
How are you feeling this week? What have been your biggest wins? What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now? This week, I wanted to have a little chat with you about how to build resilience in your children. So, what is resilience? According to Public Health England: "Resilience is described as the capacity to ‘bounce back’ from adverse experiences, and succeed despite adversity.” Those adverse experiences could be anything from falling out with friends to the loss of a family member (and anywhere in between). Some children are “born resilient”, in that they are able to bounce back from adversity quickly and naturally, whilst others find it much harder. This can even vary from sibling to sibling. Here are some of my top tips for raising resilient kids! Tip 1: Start a Daily Positivity Practice… At the end of each day, as your child to reflect on anything they did well, or “bounced back” from. Aim for 2-3 things, if they can. This helps to strengthen the neuropathways relating to resilience and self-love in their brains. The more they practice this, the strong the pathway, and the more resilient they will become. Tip 2: The Positivity Jar… At the start of each week, give your child 10 coins. Every time you notice them speak positively about themselves, ask them to add a coin to their Positivity Jar. Every time you notice them speak negatively about themselves, ask them to give you a coin and chat to them about why the comment wasn’t helpful. At the end of the week, count up the coins and see if they can beat the number of coins in the jar the following week. If they get all 10 coins in the jar, you could offer them a prize! Give them a go and let me know what you think. Check out ParentKind's useful article on resilience here. Oh, and here's a great children's book. And... That's it from me for another week! If you’d like a supportive ear, some advice and a chance to talk to someone, feel free to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat today. If you like this post... Follow us Instagram. Like us on Facebook. Check us out on Twitter. If you aren't already, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn too, for more on children's mental health. Take care, Abby and the HappiMe Team x |
AuthorEach week, HappiMe's Lead Children's Coach, Abby, shares her advice on a new topic.
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