A Conversation About Confidence
How are you this week?
What have been your biggest wins? Trust me, you can think of at least 3…
What hasn't gone so well? What lessons have you taken away from these experiences? Are you ready to let them go now?
Since it's something we work with young people to improve daily, I thought it was about time with had a chat about confidence.
So, what is confidence? Well, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, confidence is "the quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans or the future."
What do I think about confidence?
Confidence is how you feel about yourself intrinsically… Not what other people think of you. Just because someone once said, “she’s doesn’t seem very confident”, doesn’t mean it’s true!
I also feel that confidence has nothing to do with the external world, and everything to do with your own thoughts. If you keep saying to yourself, “I’m not very confident”, guess what? You will never be confident!
Lastly, confidence doesn’t necessarily mean you’re loud, love being the centre of attention or have to be the “class clown”. Confidence is being brave enough to be quiet when appropriate, to listen, and to share assertively when you have something to say. Confidence works very closely with vulnerability!
Now we're clear on what confidence is (and is not!), here are some of my top tips for improving yours...
1. Journaling (with a twist!) – “What’s the twist?” I hear you ask! Our ‘Confidence Journal’ is all about sharing your real thoughts and feelings about specific situations that may have happened that day. We suggest listing every key event, numbering them, then on a separate page writing down all of the things you thought or wanted to say. The point of this is to be vulnerable with yourself, and to learn to trust your own thoughts and feelings.
2. Mirror Work – Once you have written your journal for the day, head over to your nearest mirror and say some of the things you’d liked to have said, as assertively as you can. Speak clearly, smile and allow your inner confidence to shine through. Your voice is so important, so let it be heard.
3. The Power Pose - Stand upright, hands on hips, chest puffed, chin up and legs parallel to your hips. Take a deep breath, smile and recite a short mantra that makes you feel happy. For example, “I am strong”, “I am confident”, or “I am brave”. Try to do this for 2 minutes at the beginning of each day.
4. Helpful Thoughts - This is a great first step towards changing your beliefs. They are NOT super positive, because if you currently believe something like, “I have never been confident”, it’s unlikely your brain is going to listen when you start chanting, “I am super confident”. A small step in the right direction could be reciting something that is equally true but just a tiny bit more helpful. For example, “I am capable of being more confident”, or “with practice, I could be more confident”.
Remember, change doesn't happen overnight, so pick what you'd like to try and give it a go for at least 30-days. I also suggest that you rate your confidence level out of 10 today and again in a month's time.
If you’d like some useful tips for building confidence, self-esteem and self-worth in your children, please feel free to contact me here.
I hope this blog helped you in some way.
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Abby and the HappiMe Team x